Do you ever find yourself automatically judging someone without even knowing them? Yeh, I’ll admit, I do it at times too, but man do I feel terrible afterward. Although, when the shoes on the other foot and someone is judging you it can very frustrating. Read on to see what happened when I decided to stop judging and started putting myself in other’s shoes first. Learn how you can too and brighten someone’s day in the process!
Today is day ten of my Blogging for Kindness 31-Day Challenge. Today’s challenge: stop judging for the day.
Maybe you’re walking down the street and turn your nose up at an overweight person in a wheelchair, or you shake your head at a young man smoking puffing on a cigarette, or you roll your eyes at a mother whose child is throwing a tantrum. Or, maybe you see something on social media you don’t agree with and make a snarky, passive aggressive comment.
No matter how you judge someone or how you act it out, both never make you feel better in the end and it doesn’t help the person being judged either. So, why do we do it?
There’s That Big “E” Again
Enter the ego. Many of us feel it’s our job to judge. Sometimes we think, well, I would never do that or let myself get that way, or use language like that, but guess what? Yes, you do. We all do.
No one is perfect and even though you might not think it to be true, someone has judged you in the past for something they thought was wrong.
Our ego’s get out of control real fast. It’s a good idea to consistently remind ourselves that no one has it easy and we all have climbed hills or mountains in our lifetime and done things we are not proud of. Judging is definitely not the answer.
Ouch! Hold That Tongue.
Kindness is the answer. Being kind to someone and trying to understand where they are coming from is the best way to approach the feeling you get when you want to begin judging. Hold off and bite your tongue. Remember where you came from and all your past mistakes. Ask yourself, “How would have I wanted to be treated if I were in that situation?”
Dirty Socks And Toxic Thoughts
So, I recently took a trip with my son, Maximus, to the dollar store and as we were walking up and down the aisles I noticed a woman dressed in sweats, hair disheveled and carrying a baby in a car seat covered with a dirty blanket.
I stood there out of the corner of my eye observing her and in my mind, I thought to myself how could a mother not keep herself and especially her baby clean. As she walked away, I remembered my challenge for the day and started to feel awful. I took a deep breath and remembered how hard it was to have a newborn. I instantly sympathized with the mother and wish I would have been more friendly.
Maximus and I were getting ready to leave and I noticed a tiny gray baby sock on the ground. I picked it up, knew it was the mother with the baby and went up and down each aisle until I found them and returned the sock. The mother smiled, and said, “Thank you!”
Kindness isn’t just about giving someone flowers or mowing someone’s lawn. Sometimes it’s as simple as being mindful of stopping our judgments in their tracks and picking up a sock.
Quit Sticks From The Heart
Funny thing is, the reason I went to the dollar store in the first place was to help two other people I know and love. My husband and my uncle. They both have suffered under the power of nicotine for many years and have failed several times trying to quit.
I recently got into using essential oils to minimize my stress, migraines among other things and when I thought about their struggles with quitting smoking I wonder if there were oils that helped?
I searched on Pinterest and there it was, WA-LA, a quit-sticks recipe!
I bought the jars and toothpicks at the dollar store and ordered some oils. I mixed the concoction and placed the toothpicks in the oils inside the jars, screwed the cap back on and they were ready to test! Yeh, it took a little effort and a little money, but it’s years they could get back on their life!
I don’t have the results yet, but I will definitely write a follow-up post to and let you all know how it goes.
The moral of these two stories is, be kind and stop judging. Stop thinking you’re perfect and you have all your shit together enough to judge someone else for their failures. We’re human and really good ones do what they can to help others.
So, how will you spread your kindness today? Who will you help? Will you be mindful of your judgments and put a halt on bad behavior? Comment below and tell me. I want to know!