when self care isn’t enough

We all like to think we’re strong and can do it all on our own, but ask yourself, how realistic is that way of living? At some point or at several points in our lives we all need help from someone else or something else to support us through the hardships. Self care routines are a great addition to our lives but sometimes we need more. So, what’s more?

How many times have you gone through your social media feed and seen picture perfect “friends” displaying their wildly happy, bougie, first-class life?

Comparison Kills
How many times have you compared your own life to theirs and thought, well damn, I’m doing something wrong?! Or, what’s wrong with me? My hair’s rarely done, my nail polish is always chipped, I drive a beater, my house needs a new roof I can’t afford, I’m thousands of dollars in debt, I hate my job, and my relationship is nowhere near “The Notebook” level.

Stop right there. Because it’s all a facade.

We all do it. We all post the happy moments. We upload the perfect hair day poses, the pics of our apple-picking flawless family outings, the”check-in’s” to save the world events, and all the look at me and my utopian lifestyle snapshots!

Show Me Your “Good” Side
Now, before you positively perfect people get your panties in a bunch, I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with that, but what I am saying is that we need to talk more about the not-so-perfect times too. Because that’s real life. We need to speak up and not be afraid to relate to someone else about what we’re struggling with.

We need to show our human side, instead of just our good side.

I talk about self care a lot! But, the truth is, my life isn’t perfect and self care just isn’t enough for me. I need more. And, I think if we’re truly honest with ourselves, we’d agree that we all need more. We can not do it all on our own.

Let me be the first to say that I once thought self care was what I needed, but the more time that passes, the more I realize that the darkness of my depression and anxiety is too strong right now.

It’s too strong and it’s not going away by me taking a bubble bath or drinking my favorite latte. Although I love those self care things and they do help, I’m stronger because I realize I need more. I’m braver because I’m showing my human side. My real life side.

Maybe you’re feeling the same?

Ain’t No Shame In My Game
I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of feeling this way and I’m not stopping at self care. There are way too many other areas of help and support that I’m seeking. I’m not a quitter, never have been and I’m not giving up. So, here are a few areas of guidance I’m actively exploring. Hopefully, they will help you break out and show your human side too!

Healthy-Influencers – Notice I used the word “healthy.” When I seek friends or family members who I know will be a good influence I go to the ones that live a healthy, well-rounded lifestyle. They have good habits, good hearts and are good listeners. I avoid negative talkers, narcissists, and gossipers.

Professional Support – If you’ve read my blog before, you know I’m a big believer in speaking with a therapist or “life coach” as I like to call it. Seek out a good one, someone you can connect with and that moves you forward. If you’re brain dumping in your sessions and not receiving any mental tools on how to handle life hurdles then speak up or look for another coach.

Medical Supplements – I recently sought out a psychiatrist because well, I needed more. Psychiatrists tend to be odd, and fairly uninvolved in your feelings – more so they stick to the facts and ask “how is the drug treating you?” Steer clear of these types. Look for a psychiatrist that cares about you and what you’re feeling (it ain’t easy, but they exist), not one that’s just focused on the pills. Your family doctor may be a good place to start too.

The Right Nutrition – I’m lucky enough to have a friend, Miss Tansy Rodgers, that’s a powerhouse when it comes to fitness and nutrition! I’m always asking her for advice when it comes to my day-to-day health. It usually goes something like this, “I’m feeling tired, I have no energy and I can’t focus, what am I missing nutritionally?” She always sets me on the right path as far as what vitamins or minerals I may be needing and has encouraging words. Balance is key when it comes to food so the more variety and colors – the better. Oh, and have that donut when you crave it. Just don’t eat the whole box!

Healing Fitness – Exercising is important for mental health, for sure. However, for some, it can become a bad habit. And, by bad habit I mean it can become something you do to beat yourself up or something you do to make up for the donut you ate or something you do when your body is screaming for rest. It can become unhealthy. Exercise should be good for your body and mind – not a punishment. It should make you feel better, not worse. Yoga is a good one that really connects mind and body. But, if you need something more, I get it 😉

Listen. There is no way on earth any one of us could do life on our own. And there’s no shame in asking for help or seeking it out ourselves. And the next time you post on social media – try showing your human side and see what happens. One thing’s for sure, you’re true friends will probably let out a big sigh… “Ahhhh! She is human, just like me!”

Tell Me
Do you need more? If so, then what are you waiting for? Go get it and report back!






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