Are you pursuing remarkable, but stuck with basic? Are you working consistently on your goals but getting nowhere? Do you find yourself searching for the “why” in why things aren’t working? You might need to look in an unlikely spot to find your answer. Who’s in your tribe?
Being remarkable isn’t a solo gig. It’s a tribe thang.
Don’t get me wrong. Good old fashioned hard work and perseverance are definitely dream catchers for your goals but your own personal growth is also a big component to succeeding and hitting milestones.
Big Changes Happen With Little Decisions
The little changes and upgrades in your daily routine that you intentionally decide to make are what makes the difference between moving forward or staying stuck. And, the people you surround yourself with have a lot to do with the choices you make, the actions you take and your attitude.
About a year ago, there were some “friends” that I had that were not good. They were toxic, but the kind that didn’t smell, if you know what I mean? They disguised themselves as good friends, but they were not. They were basic.
I tried so many times to make plans with them and have conversations with them and they would never reply or commit to anything. No call. No text. Nothing.
It was extremely frustrating and it hurt. It hurt a lot.
The one time (one of the last times) we had all decided to finally meet up because it had been so long since we had last connected. I went into it feeling positive and willing to give it one more try.
Well, it sucked. Bad.
We had brunch together and not one of them (out of three) asked me just ONE TIME how I was doing, what was going in my life. Not one questions, one acknowledgment. It was like I wasn’t even there – like I was invisible. Of course, I didn’t say anything because why? It wouldn’t have made a difference – especially after my continued failed attempts earlier on.
Breaking Up With Basic
I grabbed my stuff, got into my car and sobbed the whole way home. When I got home, my hubby listened while I vented. I cried so many tears. I told him I felt so much pain my heart that it physically hurt, ached. From that point on I vowed that I would have nothing to do with those group of so-called “friends” anymore.
I broke up with them. I broke up with basic. I didn’t want basic for my life.
I wanted remarkable. Remarkable AF! I was done being hurt, ignored, and stepped over. So, I began seeking a new tribe, and man did I learned a lot!
What’s a Tribe?
Your tribe (a.k.a. your homies, your best buds) – the friends and mentors you choose to have in your life are extremely influential to you. They lift you up when you are down and give you not just good advice, but great advice. Having positive friends in your life will even call you out when you need it and make sure to get you back on track.
Good influencers push you to do better – push you to be remarkable.
Basic friends will set you up for failure. They will distract you – create drama and unnecessary doubt for you. Negative thinkers and talkers will let you keep going when they know you’re on the wrong path. They will lead you down a dead end.
And, here’s a big one… unhealthy friends will always make EVERYTHING about themselves so there’s no room for you.
Your Path To Remarkable
Once you educate yourself on the differences between positive and negative friends – you are on your way to something more. Something remarkable.
Just because you knew each other for years or shared similar life hurdles and circumstances doesn’t mean you need to remain friends. Just because someone knows everything about you or you spent some life highs and life lows with that person doesn’t mean they want to see you be remarkable.
Choose carefully. Note how you feel when you are with them. Recognize if the feelings are mutual and the relationship is balanced. Look at their life from the outside. Are their attitude, actions, and goals along the same wavelengths as what you seek?
Is it basic? Or, is it remarkable?
You only have one life. And, you don’t want to get to the end saying to yourself, “Damn, I wish I had dumped my basic sooner and welcomed remarkable.”
Live for today and ask yourself…
“What does my tribe look like, act like, talk like? What does my remarkable look like?”
Tell me. I want to know!