Listen up, these self confidence tips are too legit to quit and au naturel! No SEO needed. I mean, I’m all about good SEO practices, but you guys deserve better.
Now let’s get down to business.
I’m sure I’m not the only one when it comes to hearing a lot of lousy advice from friends and family in regards to gaining self confidence.
“Just get out and do something that makes you feel good.” They say.
“Buy a pretty dress.” They say.
“Think positive!” They say.
Really people? Obviously, you’ve never had a lack of self confidence with this winning advice. (sarcasm)
There’s a big problem with all of this crappy advice – it’s not telling you or me WHY we feel a lack of self confidence. We’re not learning anything. We’re not progressing. We’re just covering up.
Before you can raise your self worth you have to know why. You have to have a reason, a motivator, a freakin’ answer for God’s sake as to why you feel so low.
When I was in my lowest of lows I didn’t want to do anything. I didn’t even have the energy to force a positive thought. I was in a pit of despair, I had lost my job for the second time in one year and I sure wasn’t poppin’ out of bed each day with my running shoes on. I wasn’t doing much of anything but meandering through the days and weeks like a robot. I was empty and there wasn’t a trace of “Here are some things that are great about me,” in me.
Try looking for a job and “selling yourself” when you have zero self confidence -HA! I couldn’t even pretend. I didn’t want to do anything until I knew what the hell was going on – WHY I was feeling the way I was.
So, how do you get that answer? I’m gonna tell you. Here are a few of the things that helped me and that I continue to invest my time in even today.
Tip 1: Realize you’re not alone.
You’re probably thinking, “wait, whaaat?” What is that gonna do you ask? Trust me. Sometimes just hearing you’re not alone, there are others that feel just like you, is a game changer. It’s eery how the mind tricks us into internalizing every thought and believing that we’re on our own. But, it’s not true. Sometimes just hearing those three words gives you comfort and yes, confidence in knowing there’s hope.
Extra Tip: Seek out a good support system. Maybe a friend you know who has gone through the same thing or find a professional to talk too.
Tip 2: Tell your inner critic to shut the F!@# up.
Recognize your negative thoughts. That’s it for now. Don’t worry about forcing positive thoughts until you can recognize the negative ones. The more you recognize the negative thoughts the more you can attach them to specific actions or times of day when you’re more susceptible. Once you have that info, it’s much easier to take the next steps.
Extra tip: Check out this list of other cognitive disorders you may be able to recognize you’re doing.
Tip 3: Write it out, journal & repeat.
Writing things out is just like talking things out. If you can’t afford therapy, don’t have anyone you can trust to share how you’re feeling, or if you just want to do a little extra to get your self confidence back on track; journal. Make sure you go back and read what you wrote a day or two later… this will help you to be able to step outside yourself and recognize things you didn’t before. You can see patterns and work to change them.
Extra Tip: Put your thoughts out there! Start a blog or an online journal to share with others. I guarantee you’ll help yourself and someone else at the same time.
Tip 4: Set baby goals.
Don’t waste time right now setting goals that are unattainable. For example, “I want to sail across the world” which requires you to give your kids up for adoption, sell your house and all your possessions (which might not even be enough to buy a rowboat) and leave your significant other. Ok, seriously, start small and set baby goals like, “I want to start going for a walk 2 days a week, or take up a yoga practice.” Or, maybe your goal is to declutter one room of your house each day, or maybe it’s just showering once a day. Whatever it is, start small. Once you conquer the small goals you can dream bigger.
Extra Tip: Track your progress and find a partner to hold you accountable. Have them check-in with you to see how you’re doing. Ask them for some friendly motivation!
Now that you have these self confidence tips under your belt all that’s left to do is get going. Don’t get overwhelmed – just choose one to start with, and then add on another as you feel comfortable.
What are your “go-to” self confidence boosters? I want to know!